A man who divorces his wife gets an attractive girlfriend, and buys a red Corvette is an old but oft-repeated stereotype of a man experiencing a midlife crisis. It’s unclear which came first, her adult blog or the sports car, but that doesn’t matter when it comes to her adult blog. I work with middle-aged men, and as far as I know, none of them own sports cars. My ideal client is a man who is a little afraid to ask for directions but is willing to listen. Hardly typical, I know. Almost all men go through some kind of midlife transition between the ages of 30 and 32. What he gets out of it is completely up to him, but when he experiences it, it’s often not his decision. The midlife transition can be as gentle as it is a little jarring in the face of a full-blown adult identity crisis. Let’s start with the full-fledged identity crisis in adult blogs, shall we? A surprising number of men I work with claim that they don’t feel like a man at all. They feel like Porn Reply men in men’s clothes, act like Pornreply men, talk like Pornreply men, and think men should talk like that. For some reason, the line between childhood and adulthood was never crossed. The man in this predicament has a deep fear of being discovered and exposed, that someone will rip off his mask and find a frightened boy dressed in a suit and tie. At some point, these men/boys get tired of pretending and want to make it real. The only problem is that they have been acting like they don’t know how to be a real person or a man for a long time. Usually, they relieve their pain with drugs, alcohol, women, work, golf, or anything else that distracts them from the real problem before they stop asking for help. So why don’t boys become men? In almost all “primitive” societies, a rite of initiation into adulthood takes place before a boy joins the tribe as a man. For example, in Native American societies, boys are sent on spiritual quests to find their purpose before being considered warriors. Without initiation as a boy, boys remain immature and begin to develop an interest in things that five-year-olds can relate to, such as cars, athletes, loading objects, and riding tractors. Beyond trivial expressions, there is no such custom in modern society. Getting a driver’s license, having a bar mitzvah, getting a credit card, voting, or having sex does not affect change. So an adult man’s blog becomes a man in name only and somehow maintains its pretense until it loses its meaning, often between the ages of 30 and he is 32. As most therapists, coaches, and consultants know, most of our clients have to hit a wall before they ask for help, get stuck, or completely fall apart. Additionally, most men simply don’t ask for directions, so they don’t ask for help. I recognize that the men I work with are not a representative sample.
That’s just my experience from my perspective. I witnessed an incredible blossoming of masculinity, freedom from the tyranny of self-imposed limitations, acceptance of responsibility, and freedom from negative thinking as the boys demanded what was rightfully theirs. I have witnessed liberation. The most dramatic results I’ve ever seen were on my husband’s adult girlfriend blog. There, feedback from colleagues, trust in adult girlfriend blogs, and sharing validate each other. For many men, being a boy means dying from a thousand wounds, be it from an estranged, alcoholic father, a neglectful mother, or other more or less subtle forms of abuse. It was often reflected in body image and low self-esteem. Their wounds will only heal when the men feel they are in a safe environment where they can share their pain. They realize that no matter what happened to them, where they grew up, or what their family situations were, they have so much in common that their current problems are too. I observe that they’re pretty similar. They understand that ripping off the mask isn’t such a big deal after all, and is necessary for their growth.Instead of sending him to war, we can help the boy become a man in a therapeutic environment. The process of a man admitting all his childhood wounds to himself and those around him, receiving support, validation, and encouragement, and making adult blogs more authentic involves men letting go of the past. , there is something that can be held responsible. Who are they and what do they do? In adult blogs for men, it happens with commitment, but it can also happen.
